post_banner_1581220989.png
My Marriage is a Mess but Am I Still a Good Parent
Local & National News | February 09, 2020
Deciding whether to stay in an unhappy relationship or leave is possibly one of the hardest decisions a person could make; being a parent only makes this choice more difficult.

Dear Jennifer,

I am writing you as a concerned parent. My daughter is in a very unhealthy relationship, yet she continues to stay. I’ve begged her to leave because I feel like her relationship is negatively affecting my grandchildren. Her response is “my kids don’t see what goes on between us” and “I am I still a very good mom even though my relationship is a disaster”. She’s desperately holding on to a situation that can cause significant, emotional distress to her kids. How do I help her see that she is hurting her children?

Concerned Grandma

Ask the Love Expert Jennifer J. Hayes

Please only submit a question if you feel comfortable with Jennifer answering in an article on her Love BIG Live BIG Channel! Jennifer will try her best to feature your question on an upcoming post, but she can’t get to everyone. If your question is answered online, Jennifer will email you will a link to the article!

Dear Concerned Grandma,

Not knowing the specifics of your daughter's current situation, it’s hard for me to know if the children are being harmed by her relationship. However, I absolutely agree that the state of her relationship is impacting her children and how they will form relationships, and eventually parent. So many times, people justify staying in a less-than-fruitful relationship because they believe it has no affect on their ability to parent. This is simply unrealistic.   No one can be a good parent or co-parent when their relationship is in turmoil, or if they aren’t communicating well with their partner. The fact of the matter is romantic relationships impact one’s mood, mental health and perspective on life; all of which significantly affect the environment a child grows up in.

Your daughter doesn’t believe that there is a problem because she’s thinks her kids don’t know what’s going on. But children are constantly observing their surroundings and can sense tension, hostility and anger. This is why resolving conflicts in front of kids is so important. Disagreements are inevitable; nevertheless, children need to learn (and see) how two adults who love each other communicate and resolve issues. This will only benefit them in adulthood. 

Children, as much as adults want to deny it, are sponges who absorb and then mimic what they see.  In most cases, the effects of emotional damage won’t come out right away. Instead, it will reveal itself in the choices you make as a teenager or parenting as an adult.

To all the couples with children who are thinking about repairing or leaving their relationships, understand the impact that decision has on your legacy. Your kids see your marriage day in and day out. Make sure you’re setting an example for the type of relationship you’d want them to have.

XOXO,

Jennifer J. Hayes

Let's #BeAmazing Together

Team up with JustMy to help 100,000 businesses and non-profits get back on their feet after the impact of Covid-19 and the resulting recession.

The Campaign to Help
Our Goal, Help 100,000 Businesses & Non Profits
Become a Community Partner
You can be a Sponsor in Your Community helping locals get back on their feet.
Likes = Help
You can Help Your Community with Your Free Subscription to JustMy

NewsStand Partner | Article

LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes
By LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes Never Give Up On Love Death, divorce, and failed relationships are extremely difficult to recover from, and it’s understandable why so many people are tempted to give up on the possibility of finding happiness again.

NewsStand Partner | Article

LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes
By LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes Top 10 things you need when it comes to setting resolutions for love The start of a calendar year triggers reflection and resolutions from the masses, and it should. Periods for resolution and change happen regularly throughout the year, but the blank slate feeling that the new year brings is like no other.

NewsStand Partner | Article

The Fun Crew
By The Fun Crew JustMy Kicks off help for Direct Sales People around the Country The #FunCrew of #JustMy is using the introduction of myCARD to help business owners and nonprofit organizations around the country! The team is kicking things off with a special version of myCARD for Younique Direct Sales members

NewsStand Partner | Article

LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes
By LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes Relationship Potential at 50 Dating at any age can be challenging however once you reach 50 and you’re looking for something serious, you don’t want to waste your time “just seeing” a guy who’s not a good long-term match.

NewsStand Partner | Article

LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes
By LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes When is it time to move on? Are you spending years of your life investing in the wrong person? Paralyzed by fear that they are the last person on earth . . .

NewsStand Partner | Article

LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes
By LoveBIG, LiveBig - Jennifer J Hayes Preference vs. Prejudice in dating is there a difference While it may seem like specifying which ethnicity is simply another aspect of defining your likes and dislikes, as a matchmaker it is my job to sift through your list of wants and find the best possible partners