When you have been cheated on multiple times, you often question whether you can trust the
other person, but what really gets shattered is your sense of trusting yourself. You often wonder
if your perception is accurate or if you can still trust your own judgement. Sometimes the lack of
self-trust becomes more devastating than trusting the other person.

Dear Jennifer,
I have been cheated on multiple times in all my relationships. Several months ago, I started
dating a new guy. He is wonderful but I can’t help feeling that he is going to cheat. I find that I
have a hard time trusting even in this good relationship. How can I get over that feeling?
Signed,
Trustissues

Dear Trustissues,
When it comes to trust, I don’t think it’s a matter of you getting over that feeling. It’s about you
finding space and comfort within the relationship you have with your new man, where you are
able to talk about that feeling and share it with him. It’s a real and genuine feeling that you have
based on your past experiences, so don’t look at it as something you have to get rid of. Instead,
ask yourself, do you feel safe in your current relationship where you can be vulnerable enough
to share how you’re feeling with him? My advice would be to take your time, go slower. Let him
know that you need a little more reassurance than before, and because of your past
experiences, you have become a little more vigilant, unsure and vulnerable. Let him know that
it’s not about him and it has everything to do with your past relationships and insecurities. From
your ability to talk with him about it openly and honestly and his ability to respond to it kindly and
compassionately, it will allow that feeling to go away and invite trust in.

Love Big,

Jennifer