Love is such a worthy pursuit for us all to strive for, and there is nothing wrong with someone who has been widowed wanting a new relationship and wanting a love again. I want to ask everyone, what is more affirming to the love you have for somebody than saying I’m going to try that again?

Although I have never experienced the loss of a significant other, I have more than 20 years of experience dealing with clients who have. I have worked with plenty of people who have suffered the sudden loss of partner, and while everyone grieves differently one of two things will happen. Some jump back into the dating world right away, while others let years pass before even considering a new relationship, if at all. For the latter, many widows feel like their grief is too strong to consider opening up to anyone else ever again. My job as a practitioner and matchmaker, and what I really want to relate to all of you today, is to remind you that your lives are not over. Regardless of what has happened in your past relationships, you all still have the power to reinvent, rebuild, feel, live and most definitely love again. Love is such a worthy pursuit for us all to strive for, and there is nothing wrong with someone who has been widowed wanting a new relationship and wanting a love again. I want to ask everyone, what is more affirming to the love you have for somebody than saying I’m going to try that again? There are many emotions that come with trying to move forward after a loss of a spouse. Just because years have passed, and you are still grieving their loss doesn’t mean you’re not ready to date. One never gets over major life losses—when I say that I mean you will always feel something. To me, this is a beautiful reminder and in no way means a widow shouldn’t move on and form other bonds.

Ultimately, the choice for a widow to pursue companionship comes down to the individual. Every person is different, so if you’ve given yourself some time to grieve, to honor the relationship and you’re ready to get back out there, do that. I really believe that past experiences can make your next relationship even better than you imagined. So many people experience loss as a heart-opening experience: They learn to love deeper, savor what they have, and use any regret from the past relationship to learn.

There’s no specific time period one should wait before dating again. Grieving and the process of moving on is something that’s unique to each person. Some people take years, others weeks, and then there are those who choose never to date again. Whatever you do, don’t let others tell you you’re moving too fast or waiting too long. Make sure it’s something you’re really ready to try before taking that step. Before you run out and look for someone to fill a void in your life, remember there is no hole to fill. Whatever comes next will be new, different and its own force. People aren’t replaceable, and you don’t require validation from another human to be in love with who you are and all you bring to this world.

XOXO,

Jennifer