Dear Jennifer,
What should I do with the feeling that I just don’t want to make my marriage work anymore? I am not in love with him anymore, we don’t have kids and I have no desire to want to make it work anymore. I have stayed because I didn’t believe in divorce, but I am miserable and at what point do I leave and just say enough is enough?

Sincerely,

When 2 Leave

Dear When 2 Leave,
I am all about reunification of marriages and doing whatever it takes to make them work— as long as neither spouse is being abused or harming someone else. Two adults made commitments to each other, and when both are willing to work on their relationship hope reawakens, couples remember why they fell in love and marriages can be restored. Having said all of this, sometimes marriages need to end.

So how does one know when it’s time to end a marriage? Many couples seek divorce or separation because one or both parties can’t recover from past events or problems. Circumstances wherein trust was broken and there was no hope of collectively deciding to reestablish the marriage, thriving individually and as a unit. However, the answer to knowing when its time is truly a personal one; you can’t rely on friends or family to talk you in or out of your marriage. The choice is yours.

There is no honor or dignity in staying in a marriage that you’re not meant to be in. No one is going to win in that situation. If you have no desire to make it work and you don’t see a future there, you are only prolonging the inevitable. If you have done everything you could to save your relationship and the damage remains irreparable, there is no shame in choosing yourself. Sometimes you just have to walk away from something that isn’t meant for you. You can’t force love where it doesn’t exist.

XOXO,

Jennifer J. Hayes