Based on the Dan Weddle top selling: Earned Wisdom

In a time when high-conflict relationships are often normalized on reality TV and social media, Dan Weddle’s approach to marriage feels radical. It is quiet, it is steady, and it works.

In his new book, Earned Wisdom, the ProTech CEO opens up about his 33-year marriage to his wife, Mikki. They have raised four sons, navigated career changes, and survived the devastating loss of a child. Through it all, Mikki has remained his "rock".

But their endurance isn't luck. It is built on a specific set of rules, the most important of which is simple: Never go to bed angry.

The "We Don't Fight" Philosophy

It sounds impossible, but Weddle insists on it. "The first big one is that we don't fight," he writes. "I'm not saying that we never get upset or frustrated, but we don't take that out on one another".

Instead of letting emotions escalate into arguments, they focus on communication. "If there's something that's bothering one of us, we talk about it". This requires listening without being judgmental or defensive—a skill Weddle honed in law enforcement but perfected at home.

Protecting the Peace

The corollary to not fighting is their commitment to resolving issues before the lights go out. "Going to bed angry just lets things fester and ruins a good night's sleep," Weddle explains. "No one wakes up any happier the next morning".

This rule isn't just about sleep; it's about prioritizing the relationship over the need to be "right." Weddle notes that most arguments aren't about right or wrong, but about unmet needs. By refusing to sleep on an argument, they force themselves to address those needs immediately and respectfully.

Tested by Fire

This isn't just theoretical advice. Weddle and his wife have faced immense strain that would break many couples.

Early in their marriage, just as they were trying to buy a larger home for their growing family, they discovered Mikki’s identity had been stolen—by her own cousin. The cousin had maxed out credit cards in Mikki's name, nearly destroying their ability to buy the house.

Whatever anger they felt, they handled it as a team. They had to press charges to clear their credit, but eventually, they chose forgiveness. "We’re a very forgiving family," Weddle writes. "The choices are to remain hurt and angry, and cut that person out of your life, or choose to heal and forgive".

Today, that cousin is welcome at family events. That level of grace is only possible when you refuse to hold onto anger.

The Team Approach

Ultimately, Weddle views marriage as a team sport. "You just have to keep fighting for the same goal together," he says. Whether it was working three jobs (including a paper route at 2:00 AM) to support the family or navigating the grief of losing their son Peyton, Dan and Mikki chose to face it side-by-side.

"Every day we wake up and thank God for each other and for our family," Weddle shares.

Get the Wisdom

For more stories on building resilient relationships and navigating life's toughest challenges, pick up a copy of Earned Wisdom.

Available now on Amazon.